jackofficers:

liquor before beer youre in the clear

beer before liquor youll be okay dont be a little bitch

(Source: screenspender)

nightvalebeforechristmas:

"so i’m guessing that you’re the girl in the relationship?"

well honey we’re actually both the girls in the relationship

that’s what makes it so gay

(Source: theworldshrinks)

screamandshout:

when will my normal sleep pattern return from war

boundunbound:

This is important

(Source: thespoonmissioner)

collections that are raw as fuck ➝ monique lhuillier pre-fall 2012

(Source: vincecarters)

Aristotle: We are what we repeatedly do.
Plato: Well then I guess I'm YOUR MOM
Plato: *high fives Socrates*

unclefather:

"name one video game thats better than GTA 5"

uh thats easy? barbie horse adventures wild horse rescue? 

three-trapped-tigers:

boara:

HE THOUGHT HIS LIL FRIEND GOT BAKED INTO A COOKIE I AM 100% DONE AWHH

jesus christ this is so sad why would you do this

(Source: swallowthesound)

totallyadhd:

amaloli:

amaloli:

today in art class a guy made a dick out of clay and when the art teacher was walking around she stopped in front of him and stared at it and just said “it doesn’t look very accurate” and walked away

all the guys at our table were like “how does she know what a dick look like” and she said

i’m sixty years old and married and have three kids

The real question is why couldn’t a boy make an accurate dick.

(Source: 26px)

I’m naked a lot.

(Source: novalee17)

andrastesgrace:

linnealurks:

von—gelmini:

Um… Chris? Sweetie? There’s a… um… tiger cub gnawing on your kneecap. You okay there?


"Look, Rose, he’s just a wee thing." "Doctor, wee things grow. You’re not keeping the tiger.” "And what about your mum, then, I let you keep her!" 

andrastesgrace:

linnealurks:

von—gelmini:

Um… Chris? Sweetie? There’s a… um… tiger cub gnawing on your kneecap. You okay there?

"Look, Rose, he’s just a wee thing." 

"Doctor, wee things grow. You’re not keeping the tiger.” 

"And what about your mum, then, I let you keep her!" 

spookycried:

full homo

spookycried:

full homo

(Source: cryaotich)

astronomy-to-zoology:

Rose Petal Bubble Snail (Hydatina physis)

Also known as the striped paper bubble, green lined-paper bubble, or the brown-lined paper bubble, the rose petal bubble snail is a species of bubble snail (Acteonoidea) that boasts a circumglobal distribution in tropical waters. Hydatina physis typically lives in shallow water and burrows itself into the sand. Its diet consists mainly of Cirratulid polychaete worms, mussels and other marine gastropods.

Classification

Animalia-Mollusca-Gastropoda-Heterobranchia-Lower Heterobranchia-Actenoidea-Aplustirdae-Hydatina-H. physis

Images: Colin Lee and touchement

(Source: blahblahsimplebuteffective)

(Source: witchomo)